Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
