This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
