she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
