He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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