I am in a vortex of obligation.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Well I just put wine in my tea
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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