So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
