I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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