Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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