chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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