Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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