**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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