his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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