Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
