I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Drunk is not a location!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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