so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
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This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
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The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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