i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize