we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's just like the Real World with babies
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Still dying that you shit outside
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
