Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
