just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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