one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
