i was born a porn star she said
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
