i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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