can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
