yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
