Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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