I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We are two peas in an std pod
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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