Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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