someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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