he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize