I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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