I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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