Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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