last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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