my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
