Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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