My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize