better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
