I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize