I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
