I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
