OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
