Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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