Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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