she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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