this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you inspire me to be a worse person
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
