i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
