Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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