plz talk dirty to me
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
