Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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