There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
