The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
