Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
