so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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